Vodka Christmas Cake

Monday, December 21, 2015 Of Minds And Mixtapes 1 Comments

Once again this year I’ve had requests for my Vodka Christmas Cake recipe, so here goes.


• 1 cup Granulated Sugar,
• 2 tsp. Baking Powder,
• 1 cup Water,
• 3 tbsp Cocoa
• 1 tsp. Salt,
• 2 cups Whipped Cream,
• 4 large Eggs,
• 1/2 cup Lime Juice,
• 1 cup Nuts,
• 1 bottle Vodka,
• 1 cup Dried Fruit
• Strawberries (for the spread),


Sample a cup of vodka to check quality.

Preheat the oven to 180 °C.

Start with melting butter in the saucepan; then add sugar, water and cocoa and stir on a moderate heat until consistency becomes smooth and glossy. Then take off the heat and stir occasionally until it cools down.

Take a large bowl and sift dry ingredients: flour and baking powder. Check the vodka again to be sure. If it is high quality vodka, repeat.

Separate eggs yolks from whites. Whisk whites until stiff.

Once the butter and sugar mix cools down, gradually add egg yolks until fully incorporated into the mixture.

Check vodka for consistency; make sure it's still okay. Take another swig, just in case.

Then add the dry ingredients to the mixture, including the whisked whites. Gently fold them into the mixture. Chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Keep mixture aside. Check vodka for constituency again.

Hull and halve the starwberries. Cook over a medium low heat with sugar for 10 minutes until soft and juices released. Stir often so that it doesn't burn at the bottom. Add lime juice and shimmy for 10-15 minutes.

Add the stwarverry mixture to the mixer. Mix on the turner to rid of any strrawberry chunks. If the mixture gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Keep aside and let the paste cool.

Sample the vodka to test for consi-tonsis-ticity.

Add one table. Spooon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Add the cake mix.

Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.

Throw the bowl through the window.

Finish the vodka and wipe the counter with the cat.


An even less refined version of this recipe was sent to me by my friend Elaine. In fact Yahoo Mail was quick to point out this --
Good to know. I'm honoured.
Thanks, Elaine! Merry Christmas to you, and anyone else who attempts baking this Christmas while intoxicated!

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